A Poem

I came across this poem by C.S. Lewis while checking out other blogs who had been talking about the very same thing I just posted. The poem is about those eternal moments or rather "Sudden Heaven" that one gets a glimpse of every once in a while in this life. It is the unexplainable Joy that cannot be relayed to others unless they too, have had the same experience. Lewis here attempts to explain the psychological aspect of what happens to a person when they experience such a phenomenon. What is most interesting about this poem however, is it was written while Lewis still considered himself an agnostic. Which probably made it even harder for him to place his finger on the cause of what had happened.
Now without further a due (sp?), here is the poem:

"The Day With A White Mark"

All day I have been tossed and whirled in a preposterous
happiness:
Was it an elf in the blood? or a bird in the brain? or even
part
Of the cloudily crested, fifty-league-long, loud uplifted
wave
Of a journeying angel’s transit roaring over and through my heart?

My garden’s spoiled, my holidays are cancelled, the
omens harden;
The plann’d and unplann’d miseries deepen; the knots
draw tight.
Reason kept telling me all day my mood was out of season.
It was, too. In the dark ahead the breakers only are white.

Yet I –I could have kissed the very scullery taps. The colour of
My day was like a peacock’s chest. In at each sense there stole
Ripplings and dewy sprinkles of delight that with them drew
Fine threads of memory through the vibrant thickness of the soul.

As though there were transparent earths and luminous trees should grow there,
And shining roots worked visibly far down below one’s feet,
So everything, the tick of the clock, the cock crowing in the yard
Probing my soil, woke diverse buried hearts of mine to beat,

Recalling either adolescent heights and the inaccessible
Longings and ice-sharp joys that shook my body and turned me pale,
Or humbler pleasures, chuckling as it were in the ear, mumbling
Of glee, as kindly animals talk in a children’s tale.

Who knows if ever it will come again, now the day closes?
No-one can give me, or take away, that key. All depends
On the elf, the bird, or the angel. I doubt if the angel himself
Is free to choose when sudden heaven in man begins or ends.


As a side note: if you wanted to check out the blog from whence this poem came here is the link.http://www.scriptoriumdaily.com/middlebrow/archives/sudden-heaven/#more-151

Motionless Motion

That’s kind of an odd title... seems to be a little bit of an oxymoron and maybe even untrue. Because how can one be moving and yet...not moving. It is difficult to think of stillness without fixity or even an on going moment where there are ever perpetual possibilities but no linear line of movement. There is no getting closer to the object yet there is no retracting from it either. Could this be a land where routine rules and monotonous living flourish? Or could that "monotonous" living be the very thing we long for??

I should first, before I go on, give a more glamorous definition of the word monotonous. First off, I don't mean it in a condescending way (as it usually co notates) rather a constant recurrence of a beautiful or good thing. Such as the sun rising, or the blooming flowers found during May time. It is my intention to use it in the setting of a type of Elysium (see Virgil). Because who would say to the sun, "stop rising every morning, it rather irritates my eyes. Could you find a new hobby?". So it is in the timeless moment of complete and utter joy, the ever ensuing encore of beauty in reality.

T.S. Elliot seemed to have the most insight into the realm of timelessness. He calls it the eternal present, or the still point of the turning world. Where motion is evident but time is not. There seems to be this longing or desire inside of us for the timeless. And still there is a constant frustration that eats away at us, a slow deterration caused by the inability to satisfy the insatiable desire for the eternal moment. Our attempts are futile because we go about it the wrong way by trying to step into the "alongside" as if our life were some kind of movie. A terrible lie that has crept into our culture is that we can satisfy our eternal desire by not taking part in our lives, by living yet not living. We are indoctrinated into this easy slumber (especially among the youth); where it is taught that materialism is reality, however, reality is elusive so don't bother your head over it to much. Inevitably however, there follows the crude awakening from that peaceful ignorance that had once so wonderfully enveloped us. Immediately after awakening we attempt to go back through various roads, whether it be living vicariously through another or simply going into an unstable state of denial.

To describe such a moment, would for me, be to describe beauty. Its not gonna happen!! :~) However, just because our linguistics fall short do not make the moment less real. Once again, another false notion! Our language does not describe, completely, reality. It has done a wonderful job at hinting to something out side of its walls, but never has it broken through. Often I become short sighted in this area, and fall back on the fact that, if I can't explain it, it must not have happened. When really this is doing injustice so some many different aspects of life, it’s a wonder why there is no law against such an egotistical ideology.
Lewis talks about these sorts of experiences he had during his childhood. He called them, stabs of joy, that stabbed him when it was least expected but immediately went away as soon as he began to cognitively think about the experience at the moment. There was no linear sequence by which he could relay such feelings, nor was it something that happened often. T.S. Eliot describes the same situation in his book "The Four Quartets":

“Dry the pool, dry concrete, brown edged,
And the pool was filled with water out of sunlight,
And the lotos rose, quietly, quietly,
The surface glittered out of heart of light,
And they were behind us, reflected in the pool.
Then a cloud passed, and the pool was empty.
Go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children,
Hidden excitedly, containing laughter.
Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind
Cannot bear very much reality.”

And so it is. We cannot, while temporarily living in this sinful body, endure much reality. We cannot endure it because we cannot contain it cognitively, which would make sense why the moment leaves as soon as we become aware of what is happening. Lewis called it Joy; Eliot called it reality, but whatever name it would prefer to go by, we could not contain it still.

"We had the experience but missed the meaning,
And approach to the meaning restores the experience
In a different form, beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness." ~T.S. Eliot, The Dry Salvages

Hell

Just recently I finished the first book of the Divine Comedy by Dante the "Inferno." And I can justly say that I have yet to see or read a book that mutilates all of five of my senses within a matter of a few pages!! As weird as it may sound, I meant that as a compliment. Dante has a way of getting across what he is talking about by giving one the ability to see what he is talking about with the eyes of their imagination.

Dante starts off his story by describing a time about "Midway along the journey of our life..", a time when he has found himself in a dark wood. He does not remember how he got there only he was feeling drowsy when he began to stray from the "straight path." He later runs into two beasts (a leopard and a she-wolf) whom he cannot get past on his own. Dante (I should mention that Dante the poet, writes himself as a character in his own book) runs into Virgil who tells him that he has been sent by God to lead him to the Gates of Saint Peter (aka. Heaven).

It is here that Dante sets up his theme as Virgil being a symbol of reason. Virgil becomes Dante's guide through Hell and Purgatory but later tells him that he will be unable to guide Dante through paradise. However, it is Virgil that slowly but surely brings Dante to his senses as they journey through hell.

While entering the gates of eternal punishment, Dante begins to feel pity for the wretched souls that must endure such punishments for their sin. Virgil quickly reproves Dante by telling him that they are receiving their just punishment because of their carelessness while in this life. They were given mercy and grace while they lived beneath the sun, however, now they are experiencing true justice without mercy. Down through the circles of hell, one begins to see Dante grow and rebuke those souls whom he engages in dialogue. It is at these times that Virgil (aka. reason) praises Dante.

When recognizing Vigil as a representation of reason, it is interesting to note that he cannot guide Dante through heaven. Virgil says that he can bring Dante to the gates of heaven but no further. There seems to be an implication of the boundaries of reason and the need for faith. Sheldon Vanauken describes it as "the leap". That great chasm where reason will lead but cannot build the bridge in order to cross. Reason (for most people) is a very tangible guide by which we are led. A leader that can get us through most struggles in life. But reason also seems to be a very humanistic ideology in that it is confined mostly to our physical realm. Reason is the back bone to math and science and most philosophy. However, it is not the back bone to theology. When discussing the death of Jesus Christ, God incarnate, it usually (to non-believers) sounds like an irrational, unreasonable conversation. And when faith is left on the way side, it is!!

Reason does not make someone a Christian; much less get them into heaven. It is like that old saying, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." So it is with Virgil, he can lead Dante to the Gates of Saint Peter, but he cannot make him cross. I have not read the rest of the divine comedy, but I am curious what Dante's guide through heaven will represent. Will it be a figure of faith?? That seems to be the only "reasonable" answer! :~)

Song of the month

Yes I am a little bit behind on this...Ok so I'm really behind!!! The song this month is: "Within a Room Somewhere" by Sixpence. I especially like the end of the song when they go into an instrumental. The guitar solo is awesome!

"The Da Vinci Code" Not So Great?

I ran accross this article http://movies.msn.com/movies/cannes06/davincicode_critics and figured it would be this huge promotion for the coming of, "The Da Vinci Code" movie...however, it was a completely bashing the movie, which was just recently released to the press. The reviewers called it a "stodgy, grim thing..." One of the reviewers recounted what it was like during the movie, "Sitting through all the verbose explanations and speculations about symbols, codes, secret cults, religious history and covert messages in art, it is impossible to believe that, had the novel never existed, such a script would ever have been considered by a Hollywood studio!". That certainly isn't the reaction Ron Howard was expecting! I am doubtfull however, about the lack of success this movie will still have. The fans of the book will remain faithfull and buy their tickets to see the movie regardless.
The end of the article kind of goes down hill when it starts talking about the news conference....but nonetheless it was not a good plug for the movie. :~)

I'll stop there and let you read the article for yourself.

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Finals suck!! Only a week and a half to go!! Then more posting! :~)

"He had read of 'Space': at the back of his thinking for years had lurked the dismal fancy of the black, cold vacuity, the utter deadness, which was supposed to separate the worlds. He had not known how much it affected him till now-now that the very name 'Space' seemed a blasphemous libel for this empyrean ocean of radiance in which they swam. He could not call it 'dead'; he felt life pouring into him from it every moment. How indeed should it be otherwise, since out of this ocean the worlds and all their life had come? He had thought it barren: he saw now that it was the womb of worlds, whose blazing and innumerable offspring looked down nightly even upon the earth with so many eyes-and here, with how many more! No: Space was the wrong name. Older thinkers had been wiser when they named it simply the heavens-the heavens which declared the glory- the 'happy climes that ly; where day never shuts his eye; up in the broad fields of the sky'".

C.S. Lewis ~ "Out of the Silent Planet"

I'm a mad man!!!

"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits!" ~G.K. Chesterton "Orthodoxy"

You know, sometimes I'll read a book and feel like the author specifically wrote that book for me! It is a very odd feeling at first, and yet it turns out to be a feeling of relief in the end. It is this mental freedom of reading something that you yourself could not put into words. A confirmation of what you had previously pondered yet apprehensive to tell others, afraid that you may look like a fool.
Logic and rationality are so deceptively alluring. And wonderfully so...but too much logic and one will go insane! Salvation through the perfect mans death, a death btw considered to be one of the most heinous forms of punishment, is anything but logical. Not only was this man perfect but He was God incarnate! Attempting to put that story inside my head as a certain sequence or mathematical equation only boxes up that which has confounded the most brilliant men in history. (Disclaimer: when I say that it boxes up salvation I mean it strictly confined to myself. I do not degrade salvation; merely I have blinded myself to it due to pride.) Frantically I insist on making a list of as many quick answer arguments so that (whether intentionally or not) I do not have to dwell on or think about my beliefs. Thereby making it much easier to contain inside this carnal mind.

No I do not think that reason is what makes Christianity real....or even why I have chosen it. I have been on this high of fairy tales lately. So much so that Christianity has never seemed more real. Nursery rhymes and stories have not appealed to me more than they do now. They talk of the normal mundane things of life (or so they are viewed) with wonder and mystery. It looks at stars not as a big ball of gas but as if the sky is bewitched somehow. They look at mountains (in the words of George Macdonald) "as portions of the heart of the earth that have escaped from the dungeon down below, and rushed up and out. For the heart of the earth is a great wallowing mass, not of blood, as in the hearts of men and animals, but of gloshing hot, melted metals and stones. And as our hearts keep us alive, so that great lump of heat keeps the earth alive: it is a huge power of buried sunlight-that is what it is." (He goes on and on...far too much for me to put here.) C.S. Lewis or J.R.R Tolkien said (I do not remember who), that the story of Christ is "the myth that became fact." And rightly so! For what god, even in Greek mythology, would in their right mind crucify himself for the sake of humans?

I wonder sometimes if it isn't fairy tales that make Christianity reasonable...if it isn't what gives reason its rhyme? Science has greatly taken away from this aspect of life and has now led us into a world of dissecting which only leads to stagnation. We dissect everything to find out how it works and what it is made of only to become bored and move on to something else. I by no means mean to bash science because it has done a great many things....(such as indoor plumbing!! :~) it seems though that we have veered to far off the track of enchantment that it is now considered childish to turn back.
Creativity is at an all time low....just look at the movies Hollywood is making!! They are either sequels or older movies being redone (ultimately another sequel!). I can't help but wonder if this can be due to the rising religion of relativism...beauty is no longer objective, the word "absolute" is an offense, and subjectivity is the rave! There is no standard by which we hold things. Our standards have turned into personal perspectives which only turn out to be evil and very uncreative!!!

I wish for a land where animals can talk and colors are colorful of their own initiative, not because the government says that your grass must be green and your house this color. A place where the sun shines, not because of some law of nature, but because it is bewitched. I long for Christianity to be real not because the cosmological argument says so, but because the mythical story of a Savior actually took place thereby making it true. If we can conceive a realm outside of ourselves, then why do we ignore it? Is it a sense of fear that we might actually be insignificant and that our over indulgence of self-esteem has turned out to be a lie?

Obviously there is a fine line where both science and fairytales must be kept in balance and over indulgence to either side is unhealthy. But to hyper focus on one and completely snuff the other is completely "illogical"!! I will now end this exhaustive rambling from a slightly prejudiced and ignorant teenager with a quote from G.K. Chesterton (who was not quite so ignorant!!), "It is not earth that judges heaven, but heaven that judges earth; so for me at least it was not earth that criticized elf land, but elf land that criticized the earth. I knew the magic beanstalk before I had tasted beans; I was sure of the Man in the Moon before I was certain of the moon."

Here is my brother and I in wales visiting the college where my Dad did a student exchange progam 25 years ago. It started to rain pretty hard and some of us got pretty thirsty. :~)

Song of the Month

Alright this month's song has to be.........Doyle Dykes, "While my Guitar Gently Weeps". My reasoning is simple.. I just like the song! Along with Doyle Dykes!! :~)