Unexpectedly tonight, I received a call from a friend asking if I wanted to go street witnessing with him and some other people. In order to buy some time, I said that I needed to ask my parents and would call him back. After I hung up the phone, I reflected on my initial impulse to say no.
What was so unnerving about talking to people about Jesus? I wasn't doing anything that night...yet I still remained very apprehensive. After deliberating with my dad, I decided that I ought to go. When I got there, the group of us talked for awhile and then we prayed before heading out. Honestly, I was more nervous than I had ever been. My legs were shaking, my tongue felt heavy (as if I wouldn't be able to talk) and I just wanted to go home.
I have been wrestling lately with my lack of desire to talk to non-Christians about the Gospel. Almost every epistle of Paul and John and Peter....all start out talking about the glory of the Gospel and how it compels them to spread the news. Where was that desire in me? And then I realized the problem.....the desire isn't in me! The desire comes from God! Instead of wondering if my Christianity was at stake for my lack of desire, I should instead raise my eye's, as Dante did, to the Divine Love which moves the sphere's! There is my desire and passion.... where all things hold together and Love is found in its perfection.
After that "zing!", I ended up talking to a guy who was from Mexico and considered himself Catholic....although not a practicing one. I won't go into every detail of the conversation (we talked for 20 minutes or so) but I will say it was a joy that I was happy to experience! And I am now wanting to share with others if only because when my eye's are raised to the Divine Love, I can do naught else but love other people!
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3 comments:
That's really cool! That's my similar experience as well, I also have recently started street witnessing with some friends. We're actually filming a video about evangelization to get young people into sharing their faith more, so I'm basically just filming conversations. At first I remember feeling really uneasy and unsure about it, but afterwards you are filled with exactly what you said - love for other people.
And to think how little we do it in comparison to people like Paul, who basically preached the Gospel every day! Yeah, doesn't exactly make you the most popular person, but popularity falls lower and lower on your list of priorities when your focus is on God.
Hey Emily,
I saw your video and was very impressed! Narcissism is so easy and yet so frustraiting! We forget how to love people and wonder why love for ourselves is so unfulfilling....Praise God for His love for us!
Thanks for stoppin' by!
How merciful is our God!
It is encouraging to hear that in His strength, such fears are overcome.
I am so cowardly.
I'm trying to remember the Source of love and joy because I really need it right now.
Thanks for sharing.
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