Two Perspectives of Christianity

Perspective #1:
What Christ and the scriptures say are true. All things are to be tested as true by comparing them with scripture. If anything contradicts scripture it is to be accounted as false. There is no negotiation, scripture is the truth by which all other truths are tested.

Perspective #2:

Christianity is true and yet the truth of it is what the "truth seeker" clings too. If on their quest for truth they find Christianity is false, it is to be accounted as false. However, while Christianity remains true to the truth seeker, he must use (what appear to be) outside philosophies as the testing of its truthfulness. These other philosophies will either sharpen or make dull one's belief in the truth of Christianity.

For as much as these two perspectives compliment each other, one cannot be both. Because perspective one insists on the truthfulness of Christianity and its validity concerning all things. Making the Bible the very source of our knowledge of truth; enabling us to decipher what is true and what is not.
On the other hand, you have a perspective which relies mostly on man's reason, however it can lead to faith. Just as Dante is led by Virgil up to Paradise. What this perspective is assuming is, truth is the thing worth searching for. If Christ is true, then we must pursue Him in order that we might discover truth. Part of discovering the truth however, is learning how to discover it.

This leads me to my question then; how do we discover truth? And can it be found in scripture?

Angelus Silesius

"If even in Christ himself there were Selfwill at all,
Despite his Blessedness, believe me, he would fall."

Don't know quite what to make of that....

The Gift of Giving?

Is it really better to give than to receive? Seriously, I really enjoy being showered with gifts. I often venture to think that it is good for me to receive with a grateful or even ungrateful heart. What is the difference as long as I am still receiving and enjoying the newly acquired possession? Why am I told then, that giving is better than receiving? Is it because other people are being selfish and want me to shower them with gifts? Or do they know something I do not?

I have begun to see a certain theme running throughout all of philosophy and in Christ's parables. Plato talks about the goodness of virtue and how it ought to be followed for the sake of one's soul. Christ talks about the realm of the spirit and the goodness of His Father and the law He set forth. Which also ought to be followed for the sake of one's soul. Surely if as humans we want what is good for ourselves, then we will want to follow virtue and the law. Because ultimately not only would it be good for us but it would also bring about joy and gratitude. Both of which we find satisfying . However, we don't find any of those things to be what they are said to be. We think virtue is hard and if God is good then He would not condemn people to hell for breaking just one of His laws.

Perhaps, if these great men (one of them just so happens to be God!) exhort us to do these good things-things that we find difficult-then we must have a messed up view of what is good for us. Maybe giving is better than receiving because it satisfies a desire that we thought was manifested in a different form. What we thought would be good enough is not enough at all. Such as receiving to much or even the wrong thing could be damaging to our soul. (I realize that the argument "giving is always better than receiving" is pretty weak. Because it could work vice versa. Also it is not always bad to receive...such as receiving the gift of salvation.) Augustine conveys in his "Confessions", the same problem of not understanding what his desires are. When he was searching for God, he realized that what he thought was God, was not God at all. Making it nearly impossible to find the one true God instead of an empty fantasy.

"For what I thought of was not you at all; an empty fantasy and my own error were my god. If I tried to lodge my soul in that, hoping that it might rest there, it would slip through that insubstantial thing and fall back again on me, who had remained to myself an unhappy place where I could not live, but from which I could not escape." ~St. Augustine

It was after a severe destruction of Augustine's own pride and ego, that while his soul lay desolate before him, he found the raw desires of himself. Desires placed in us by God. And by seeking out those desires (as painful as it was) he came to the God he had longed for all of his life. It was then that he realized, "Our souls are restless until they find rest in You".

Dr. Reynolds at it again!

Dr. Reynolds of the Torrey Honors Institute (THI) has been blogging a rebuttal against author Cornel West. Cornel West is a Professor of Religion and African American Studies at Princeton University. He is known for weaving the traditional Baptist church with transcendentalism and socialism (sounds like one big paradox to me...).

Anyway, Dr. Reynolds has just finished a five part series in defense of constantianism and the religious right. His last blog I found to be the most compelling. He talks about the need for education as a means to stand up for what is right. Unlike Cornel West, we need to not empower the young hip-hop artists of today but educate them. However, Dr. Reynolds points out, that a "conservative" retreat from education and listening to the many will pose the same problem. A problem that Mozart saw and displayed in his Opera, Don Giovanni. The problem being a failure to act.
Go check it out yourself and let me know what you think!

Spanish!

What a roller coaster this semester has been!! All for the sake of one measly little class!! However, a class not to be taken lightly. Yes this is my third semester of Spanish at the local J.C. and could possibly be the last Spanish class that I will ever have to take. Chances are I will voluntarily take the final class offered at the college. "You're crazy!" some might say! Especially for those who know me....they are probably wondering why in the heck I would wish to put myself through this again. The answer is simple (the understanding of it is a very different problem): I would love to become fluent in another language and although I do not necessarily care for the Spanish language, I can't imagine starting all over again. I would be re-missed however, if I did not admit that the language is growing on me, despite my utter frustration.

Learning another language is an experience not easily found anywhere else. Through it, I think I have learned more about my own language than of Spanish. Its fascinating to learn why we put words in certain orders, and how a minor slip could affect the entire sentence. Making it either unintelligible or say the exact opposite of what was intended. This is especially obvious when translating. Often Spanish does not follow the English rule regarding adjectives and nouns (but then again, neither does English at times!!). When one is translating a sentence, they have to reorganize all that they are reading and then try to make the translation sound like the original.

A group of friends and I are in the middle of reading through Dante's Purgatorio together. One of my friends has the original Italian text written next to the English translation. Because the Spanish and Italian language are very similar, we often try to read it in the Italian and compare it to the English. We have noted a couple of times where the English translation does not read quite the same as the Italian. Thereby giving us a different perspective of what Dante is trying to relay. It has occurred to me, through these readings, that there is a lot of pressure on the shoulders of a translator. Not only do they have to understand the other language, but they have to be careful that they do not misrepresent or inaccurately convey what the author is relaying. Not to mention that the work is extremely tedious and requires an enormous amount of patience.

However, what makes this art of language so amazing is it is a talent that everyone is born with. Everyone can speak at least one language. To learn a second or third language is skill that all people have the ability to do! By naturally speaking one language one already has the building blocks to learn another. Take it from me...you don't have to be a genius to learn. This is not to say learning another language is easy, but it is a joy that most people miss out on. The joy in expressing oneself more fully through articulation.

This Thursday I have my Spanish final which the professor so happily told us was going to be cumulative! That was just before he informed us that we were going to have another test a couple days before the final as well! Now as I frantically search for class notes, previous tests, and begin to feel the weight of the up coming final, I'll try to remember that I am doing this for the joy of expressing myself more accurately (no telling what that will sound like)!

Dr. Kent Hovind

This is a sad story for any who new of Dr. Hovind. During my elementary years of schooling, I used to watch his videos as a part of my science curriculum and was a huge fan. As a kid, dinosaurs were extremely fascinating. Not to mention my mom enjoyed the videos because they were not only educating but a great way to occupy my brothers and I! :~)

He has been convicted of tax fraud and found guilty for 58 various tax related laws. Currently he is being held by the Escambia County Sheriff's Office until his final sentencing. Apparently he could serve a max of 288 years in federal prison. His wife was also found convicted for not reporting to the bank certain payments. However, she is free pending on what the final sentencing outcome is.

All of the evolutionists are probably having a field day with this news. I can only hope the media will keep this on the down low...so far so good.

Personally I'm not sure how I feel about the sentencing. Especially when I hear stories about how a 19 year old kid faces a mere 10-14 years in prison for killing a 12 year old girl while driving drunk. His blood alcohol was .10, the legal limit being .08! Not to mention he isn't even legal to be drinking alcohol! When I compare this with the sentencing of Dr. Hovind, I can't help but feel a slight unfairness. Maybe I'm missing something.....

Anyway, check out the story and let me know what ya think!http://www.pensacolanewsjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061103/NEWS01/611030338/1006

And the saga begins!

Well, now that football is over I find myself in the beginning of a new stage of life. I have been applying for a job these past couple of days and have found the job aspect of life not quite as exciting as I had hoped it would be. The deal was, as long as I was in school and playing sports my parents were not going to require me to get a job. That utopia has finally come to a end.

A friend of mine offered me a job working for the city. It pays $10.55 an hour and I am basically in charge of my own schedule! Not a bad deal....at least working won't be. It has been this application process that has been the most frustrating. The lady who takes my transcript has been anything but helpful....however, after 3 trips to her office I think I have finally got it all in order. All that remains is getting fingerprinted (just in case I decide to break the law...then they can track me down!) and then a trip to the doctors office and I should be good to go!

Through this process I am beginning to see a need for time management (not one of my strengths!). Time management has been one of my biggest enemies...just within the past year or two. Whenever I am told I must be more efficient with my time an ugly sinking feeling begins to build in my stomach. Not because it is bad but because maybe my perception of it is bad. During these past couple of weekly meetings at my house, we have been discussing time management and what it means to save time. My definition of time management has slowly been changed and is still changing.

My original disdainful feeling towards such efficiency was the fact that it does not allow one to live life. It is as if one writes their life for one day on a piece of paper eager to get as much done as they can. Only to use what ever "saved time" they have left to sit in front of the t.v. and "veg". People miss out on life because of their burning desire to hold off on living and finish what is "required" of them. Instead of looking at one's job as apart of their life, people look at their job as an unfriendly obstacle that they must endure in order to start living. Often I hear on retirement commercials, "now that you are retired why not start living?...(insert advertisement here)". How SAD!! You mean to say that people aren't actually living until their old and retired??? Is this what time management is about? Nonsense I say! I will have none of that! Why hold off on spending time? Why not experience the work force...instead of trying merely to appease it by getting done what is required. Besides, how does one save what one already has?

I have found it is nearly impossible to save time. Why? Because I already have it. It is mine for the spending...not saving. Through my discourse with others, time management is becoming more of a surveillance of what I am doing already and what I wish to do more of. By writing down what I have done at the end of the day, I then begin to evaluate what I wish to do more of. There is of course always the requirements (such as school, work, and chores) but ultimately I am finding that those requirements are what I want to do. This process has revealed to me that I have very bad ideas of what is good for me and what I ought to do. While working through this alternative way of time management, I am finding that through the act of actually experiencing those obligations, such as school and work, they are more pleasurable. And now I question why I would even wish to fulfill those obligations faster for the sake of "saving time", if with that "extra" time I am going to waste it by watching t.v. or playing video games?

Now after giving my self a little pep-talk, I shall attempt at becoming more organized with my time! (pray for me!!! :~)

Constantine

Over at the blog of http://middlebrow.com, Dr. Reynolds has recently posted a very interesting blog about Emperor Constantine. Often when I have learned of Emperor Constantine, he seemed to be portrayed in a very mixed light. He of course was the one who ended the persecution of the early church in Rome and established the city of Constantinople. However, what has always confused me (and still does) is the praise he receives from some, for freeing the church of its oppression and the accusations of those who accuse him of endowing the church with to much freedom. Thereby causing the purity of the church to fail.

Dr. Reynolds interpretation of Constantine is filled with a refreshing optimism...especially when one looks practically at what Constantine did accomplish. I will stop there and allow you to check it out for yourself!

Christmas season

I find myself to be very cynical about the Christmas season at times....mostly because of how the media has created it into one big gigantic commercial, forcing upon the culture product after product hoping to make one more almighty dollar. I've always been drawn to the Charlie Brown type Christmas. One that doesn't require a perfect looking Christmas tree made out of metal, or the competition of the best decorated house.

No I would prefer to have the only real tree in the Christmas Tree lot...even if it is drooping and not up to par with the other trees. I also think I would prefer to have the only house in the neighborhood who either used the old fashioned different colored lights or no lights at all.
However, as a side note, I will say that the one thing I do enjoy about this Christmas commercialism is the holiday coffee's!! The egg nog latte and ginger bread latte are both muy bueno!

Cindy Lou Who asked an excellent question regarding the hustle and bustle of Christmas. She asked, "Isn't all of this Christmas shopping a bit...superfluous?". It may be that it is...and it may not be. Perhaps I am to much of a simpleton? However, something appears to be lost in all of it. People are reduced to obstacles (far more than usual) and relationships are measured by the amount of money spent on a gift. Even the Nativity scene is used as a sort of appeasement rather than a heart warming remembrance.

In that light, everything does seem to be a bit superfluous....however, (to venture and become the optimist now! :~) this season is a time where relationships often are mended and families brought back together. All for the sake of recognizing a holiday which celebrates the birth of our Lord. Perhaps the best thing we can do is gather around the Christmas tree and sing, "Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the newborn king!"

Well, Rosie O'Donnell is at it again! She apparently finds her new position as a co-host for the ABC television "The View" to be a sort of therapy for herself. Most of you have probably heard about her comment against Christianity, claiming that it is just as dangerous as radical islam. Now, however, on one of the latest shows, she has decided to ridicule the newly elected Pope for allowing the sex abuse scandal that took place within the Catholic church a few years ago. Here is a link that states exactly what happened.

link
(Sorry I haven't figured out the actual making of a link... I am a little technologically impared! Until then just copy and paste the url.)

Some thoughts...

I was talking to a friend today about a passage from 1st John. As we were talking, she mentioned that she prefers to just take the Bible for what it says and not really search for an answer. Because ultimately we won't find the answer....To a certain extent I agree that we won't necessarily ever find the answer, however, I would argue it further.

An illustration would be practicing piano. Why do people insist on practicing the piano if they are never going to become a perfect piano player? If it is impossible to become a perfect pianist, what is the point of practicing? Surely one practices in order that they might become as good as they can be. The goal is not necessarily to be the best but rather to become better. Likewise our quest and search for answers in the Bible is not so that we can have the answers written down and memorized, rather that we might understand more fully the God we serve.
I am finding that the pursuit of knowledge is not a pursuit of answers so much as a pursuit of healthiness. If one has wrong beliefs, whether out of involuntary ignorance or willfull ignorance, it is likened to being physically sick. However, it is a sickness in the soul. Logically when one is sick they take medicines to become healthy and rid themselves of their sickness. Likewise would it not be logical to at least attempt to heal one's soul through examination?

Here's to the Fans of "The Dead Poet Society"

O captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;

But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up-for you the flag is flung-for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths-for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning:

Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneaeth your head;
It is some dream that on the deck
You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse or will;
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won:

Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

~Walt Whitman

Ouch!

I write to you in a very uncomfortable state right now....I have just returned from the football game tonight against Irvine. We ended up losing tonight (28-6), and the pain post game is always worse when one has lost. However, that is not what has struck my fancy to write tonight. There has been a character trait brewing among the team, that has finally reached its boiling point...One that I not so affectionately call "Cliche motor mouth".

After coming off an 0 and 10 season last year *begins to hang head in lament*, we seniors this year decided that something had to change. With the previous seniors there was a serious lack of leadership and commitment and just a hunger to play the game. So on the first day of pre-season (January 3rd), we were going to hold people accountable for being at practice and having just a plain old fun time! This plan worked for a while but has slowly been on the decline, and has now really reached a low point within the past couple of weeks. Practices are crummy, nobody really wants to be their, and the lack of enthusiasm has begun to suck the life out of us. However, this has not slowed down the "cliche motor mouths!"

I find that people who use cliches, as their pitch to get other people excited, ignorantly display what type of person they are. It usually implies some sort of shallowness and an inability to think for one's own. They try to talk with sincerity, however, lack the ability because they have become mere puppets. This is then manifested in our practices and games. Nobody knows how to get excited, because nobody understands excitement. They try hard to conjure up feelings of excitement, but ultimately fail in the end because it is not found in simple little lines from a movie.
Yes, mere words which are not backed up with action seem to be entirely meaningless. Carrying out an action is entirely different from just talking about it. Because ultimately what gets people excited and willing to do what has been said is when the "cliche" has actually been carried out. Anybody can talk about how we must discipline ourselves in virtue or the Christian life, but I find that not everybody can not do it. Whether it be a lack of courage or just laziness.

May we be like the apostles who not only taught the truth but lived it and were willing to die for it!

A not very well liked ability....

I'm blogging!!! WOO HOO!! I know its a miracle. There seems to be times when blogging comes so easily to me, and then there are other times where it is probably one of the hardest things to do. I wish I could give an excuse as to why, but after a pretty laid back summer, which included a serious lack of blogging, I find that I have none. I wonder if part of the determining factor for the amount that one blogs, has to do with the people they hang out with? Being that it is the middle of football season, I find myself in the company of jocks. The conversation really is not worth while or even half way intellectually stimulating to make one want to blog. Unless of course it were some sort of ranting and raving (but nobody really cares to read such things). So I now am at a point, a very brief point of my life, where I must take the initiative to keep my mind thinking by reading books and attempting meaningful dialogue where ever I get the chance. However, during this very brief point, I think I am beginning to see what the life of the mind is truly about. It is not an easy lifestyle and it is not one where the goodness of it alone is motivation enough. Because ultimately I have a very tainted idea of what truly is good for me. It becomes far to easy to stray from what is Good, True, and Beautiful. Now as I continue to embark on this very short journey, I will practice thinking when it is not fun anymore, and hopefully come out of this stage in my life more educated and prepared to tackle an even greater examined life!

Now on to the topic at hand!! :~)

Over the past month or so, I have come to appreciate the natural ability that some people have at pissing other people off. It shows somewhat strength in character, or having the courage enough to state what they believe is true without feeling embarrassed. This seems to be a very rare attribute these days, one that is not looked to highly upon because it is intolerant. For if one states what they believe to be true, then inevitably they are saying that it must be true for everyone else. It is not something to be sorry for, in fact, what one finds to be true obligates them to defend it. Otherwise it is not truth at all and merely a make believe world suited for oneself, putting it in an entirely different category than truth. If subjective truth reigned, it would be impossible for cultures to survive because the people could not communicate.

Pope Benedict XVI has recently done this in his speech at the University of Regensburg. He talks about the need for reason in the Christian faith. Often faith is viewed as some kind of blind trust which explains the mysteries of Christianity (i.e. the trinity, and God becoming incarnate). We often categorize reason as some sort of worldly wisdom, devoid of any divine adherence. I love what the Pope said about this in his speech. He states, "A reason which is deaf to the divine and which relegates religion into the realm of subcultures is incapable of entering into the dialogue of cultures." But how can the divine be reasonable if it is above and beyond our human intellect? I have come to the conclusion again, that maybe my definition of reason was a little messed up.
Through wisdom God created the world. God did not create the world superfluously making it impossible to have any contact with Him. It could very well be that reason and wisdom and knowledge are the very keys to understanding the divine. Because it is through those that God created the world.

The beginning of his speech however, is what really got the Islam world all fired up. He was reading from a historical text of a dialogue between "Byzantine emperor Manuel II Paleologus and an educated Persian" regarding the difference between Christianity and Islam. I am not going to go into detail of what was said, but here is the link if you are interested in reading it. http://romancatholicblog.typepad.com/roman_catholic_blog/2006/09/faith_reason_th.html#more

When it comes to pissing people off there is a middle ground that must not be compromised. Because if taken to the extreme it often denotes an air of arrogance. An arrogance that does not allow learning or the ability to follow the dialect where it leads. On the other end of the pendulum, however, there are the passive, "tolerant" people who believe there is no truth. And despite their best efforts, try not to offend people. Both extremes will get one no where. The middle ground always seems to be the hardest place to find and the easiest to compromise. And yet of the two, it appears to be the most extreme!

"All those who wander far away and set themselves up against you are imitating You, but in a perverse way; yet by this very mimicry they proclaim that You are the creator of the whole of nature, and that in consequence there is no place whatever where we can hide from Your presence." ~St. Agustine

"Know Thy Self"

I have recently returned from once again another intellectually stimulating, mind blowing, self-esteem shattering, flourishing of my soul....Wheatstone Academy!! The week is intense, more intense than anything I have ever experienced. I can literally feel my mind expand into uncharted territory with the selfish fear of never returning. It is a thorough examination of oneself, to understand how completely useless our culture has rendered us by mechanizing our education. It is at the Wheatstone academy that they teach us "true" education. An education that can't help but transform one's life by self examination and rigorous discourse. There one is freed from the noise of business and brainless socialization, compensated by taking part in the great dialectic and the constant intake of beauty through art, music, and dance. I cannot give a sufficient definition of this conference without belittling it in some way. However, I think the best I have heard so far is: "I go BOOM!!!"

This past week I have grown more than in the past 17 years of my life. The week challenged me to step outside the box (an all to0 comfortable place) and to truly talk with others about my ideas and questions. Because if one does not make audible one's own thoughts, they will end up with many false beliefs which only leads to damaging their soul (narcissism is not healthy!). However, this growth does not happen without the help of the staff. They are all incredibly committed to helping the young chums (students) who are slowly but surely growing more and more in the life of the mind.

So what did I take away most of all from this conference you're wondering? Probably more than I could articulate in order to satisfy your curiosity. "Ok", you might say, "buy why? Why put yourself through that if living a normal schedule life is just fine?" I'm not going to pretend to have the answer, if by answer you mean something you can remember to use for a test. No I think the answer lies in the actual experience of the examined life itself. It is like trying to define the timeless. It is an experience, rather a lifestyle, so right, so intrinsically complicated and fulfilling that words become entirely false propaganda. In its essence however, it is healthy. Healthy in relation to the soul, and the flourishing of.

A sort of fragmentation has occurred in our culture causing us to pull ourselves apart in order to "succeed" in life. Instead of bringing our head, heart, and hands, to the work field, we bring our hands alone. Likewise in academia, where the only part of our beings we use is our mind. This cannot be healthy, not just because it makes us ineffective (however that is a huge part of it) but because it does not allow us to live. There is no education in academia if we leave the doing and loving out of sync with our mind.
Wheatstone academy in a sense is the introduction to and the actual training of bringing all three parts of our soul together.

Through the course of the week we read many short stories by the inklings (Dorothy Sayers, C.S. Lewis, George Macdonald, etc.), who realized the power of story and the sub-creation of ideas through stories (e.g. fairy tales). However, the week culminated to the final discussion of G.K. Chesterton's book, "The Man Who Was Thursday - A Nightmare". It is an amazing book with many parallels between characters and the creation story from Genesis. The mind of G.K.C. is incredibly sharp and witty, that truly he is the only man who could ever conceive of such a fairy tale! While reading the book, I was so caught up in the action of the story that I was entirely unaware of the deep implications and even relationship between the characters and the days of creation. After the discourse of this profound book, the words of Dr. Sanders rang even more true in my mind, "Unless a well rounded mind is brought to a book, one will only find himself in a text."

Well, I have not even scratched the surface of the incredible week I have had, so you can expect more topics being written as I slowly work through everything I learned and realized I didn't know. I will try not to wait another month before posting!!

A Poem

I came across this poem by C.S. Lewis while checking out other blogs who had been talking about the very same thing I just posted. The poem is about those eternal moments or rather "Sudden Heaven" that one gets a glimpse of every once in a while in this life. It is the unexplainable Joy that cannot be relayed to others unless they too, have had the same experience. Lewis here attempts to explain the psychological aspect of what happens to a person when they experience such a phenomenon. What is most interesting about this poem however, is it was written while Lewis still considered himself an agnostic. Which probably made it even harder for him to place his finger on the cause of what had happened.
Now without further a due (sp?), here is the poem:

"The Day With A White Mark"

All day I have been tossed and whirled in a preposterous
happiness:
Was it an elf in the blood? or a bird in the brain? or even
part
Of the cloudily crested, fifty-league-long, loud uplifted
wave
Of a journeying angel’s transit roaring over and through my heart?

My garden’s spoiled, my holidays are cancelled, the
omens harden;
The plann’d and unplann’d miseries deepen; the knots
draw tight.
Reason kept telling me all day my mood was out of season.
It was, too. In the dark ahead the breakers only are white.

Yet I –I could have kissed the very scullery taps. The colour of
My day was like a peacock’s chest. In at each sense there stole
Ripplings and dewy sprinkles of delight that with them drew
Fine threads of memory through the vibrant thickness of the soul.

As though there were transparent earths and luminous trees should grow there,
And shining roots worked visibly far down below one’s feet,
So everything, the tick of the clock, the cock crowing in the yard
Probing my soil, woke diverse buried hearts of mine to beat,

Recalling either adolescent heights and the inaccessible
Longings and ice-sharp joys that shook my body and turned me pale,
Or humbler pleasures, chuckling as it were in the ear, mumbling
Of glee, as kindly animals talk in a children’s tale.

Who knows if ever it will come again, now the day closes?
No-one can give me, or take away, that key. All depends
On the elf, the bird, or the angel. I doubt if the angel himself
Is free to choose when sudden heaven in man begins or ends.


As a side note: if you wanted to check out the blog from whence this poem came here is the link.http://www.scriptoriumdaily.com/middlebrow/archives/sudden-heaven/#more-151

Motionless Motion

That’s kind of an odd title... seems to be a little bit of an oxymoron and maybe even untrue. Because how can one be moving and yet...not moving. It is difficult to think of stillness without fixity or even an on going moment where there are ever perpetual possibilities but no linear line of movement. There is no getting closer to the object yet there is no retracting from it either. Could this be a land where routine rules and monotonous living flourish? Or could that "monotonous" living be the very thing we long for??

I should first, before I go on, give a more glamorous definition of the word monotonous. First off, I don't mean it in a condescending way (as it usually co notates) rather a constant recurrence of a beautiful or good thing. Such as the sun rising, or the blooming flowers found during May time. It is my intention to use it in the setting of a type of Elysium (see Virgil). Because who would say to the sun, "stop rising every morning, it rather irritates my eyes. Could you find a new hobby?". So it is in the timeless moment of complete and utter joy, the ever ensuing encore of beauty in reality.

T.S. Elliot seemed to have the most insight into the realm of timelessness. He calls it the eternal present, or the still point of the turning world. Where motion is evident but time is not. There seems to be this longing or desire inside of us for the timeless. And still there is a constant frustration that eats away at us, a slow deterration caused by the inability to satisfy the insatiable desire for the eternal moment. Our attempts are futile because we go about it the wrong way by trying to step into the "alongside" as if our life were some kind of movie. A terrible lie that has crept into our culture is that we can satisfy our eternal desire by not taking part in our lives, by living yet not living. We are indoctrinated into this easy slumber (especially among the youth); where it is taught that materialism is reality, however, reality is elusive so don't bother your head over it to much. Inevitably however, there follows the crude awakening from that peaceful ignorance that had once so wonderfully enveloped us. Immediately after awakening we attempt to go back through various roads, whether it be living vicariously through another or simply going into an unstable state of denial.

To describe such a moment, would for me, be to describe beauty. Its not gonna happen!! :~) However, just because our linguistics fall short do not make the moment less real. Once again, another false notion! Our language does not describe, completely, reality. It has done a wonderful job at hinting to something out side of its walls, but never has it broken through. Often I become short sighted in this area, and fall back on the fact that, if I can't explain it, it must not have happened. When really this is doing injustice so some many different aspects of life, it’s a wonder why there is no law against such an egotistical ideology.
Lewis talks about these sorts of experiences he had during his childhood. He called them, stabs of joy, that stabbed him when it was least expected but immediately went away as soon as he began to cognitively think about the experience at the moment. There was no linear sequence by which he could relay such feelings, nor was it something that happened often. T.S. Eliot describes the same situation in his book "The Four Quartets":

“Dry the pool, dry concrete, brown edged,
And the pool was filled with water out of sunlight,
And the lotos rose, quietly, quietly,
The surface glittered out of heart of light,
And they were behind us, reflected in the pool.
Then a cloud passed, and the pool was empty.
Go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children,
Hidden excitedly, containing laughter.
Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind
Cannot bear very much reality.”

And so it is. We cannot, while temporarily living in this sinful body, endure much reality. We cannot endure it because we cannot contain it cognitively, which would make sense why the moment leaves as soon as we become aware of what is happening. Lewis called it Joy; Eliot called it reality, but whatever name it would prefer to go by, we could not contain it still.

"We had the experience but missed the meaning,
And approach to the meaning restores the experience
In a different form, beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness." ~T.S. Eliot, The Dry Salvages

Hell

Just recently I finished the first book of the Divine Comedy by Dante the "Inferno." And I can justly say that I have yet to see or read a book that mutilates all of five of my senses within a matter of a few pages!! As weird as it may sound, I meant that as a compliment. Dante has a way of getting across what he is talking about by giving one the ability to see what he is talking about with the eyes of their imagination.

Dante starts off his story by describing a time about "Midway along the journey of our life..", a time when he has found himself in a dark wood. He does not remember how he got there only he was feeling drowsy when he began to stray from the "straight path." He later runs into two beasts (a leopard and a she-wolf) whom he cannot get past on his own. Dante (I should mention that Dante the poet, writes himself as a character in his own book) runs into Virgil who tells him that he has been sent by God to lead him to the Gates of Saint Peter (aka. Heaven).

It is here that Dante sets up his theme as Virgil being a symbol of reason. Virgil becomes Dante's guide through Hell and Purgatory but later tells him that he will be unable to guide Dante through paradise. However, it is Virgil that slowly but surely brings Dante to his senses as they journey through hell.

While entering the gates of eternal punishment, Dante begins to feel pity for the wretched souls that must endure such punishments for their sin. Virgil quickly reproves Dante by telling him that they are receiving their just punishment because of their carelessness while in this life. They were given mercy and grace while they lived beneath the sun, however, now they are experiencing true justice without mercy. Down through the circles of hell, one begins to see Dante grow and rebuke those souls whom he engages in dialogue. It is at these times that Virgil (aka. reason) praises Dante.

When recognizing Vigil as a representation of reason, it is interesting to note that he cannot guide Dante through heaven. Virgil says that he can bring Dante to the gates of heaven but no further. There seems to be an implication of the boundaries of reason and the need for faith. Sheldon Vanauken describes it as "the leap". That great chasm where reason will lead but cannot build the bridge in order to cross. Reason (for most people) is a very tangible guide by which we are led. A leader that can get us through most struggles in life. But reason also seems to be a very humanistic ideology in that it is confined mostly to our physical realm. Reason is the back bone to math and science and most philosophy. However, it is not the back bone to theology. When discussing the death of Jesus Christ, God incarnate, it usually (to non-believers) sounds like an irrational, unreasonable conversation. And when faith is left on the way side, it is!!

Reason does not make someone a Christian; much less get them into heaven. It is like that old saying, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." So it is with Virgil, he can lead Dante to the Gates of Saint Peter, but he cannot make him cross. I have not read the rest of the divine comedy, but I am curious what Dante's guide through heaven will represent. Will it be a figure of faith?? That seems to be the only "reasonable" answer! :~)

Song of the month

Yes I am a little bit behind on this...Ok so I'm really behind!!! The song this month is: "Within a Room Somewhere" by Sixpence. I especially like the end of the song when they go into an instrumental. The guitar solo is awesome!

"The Da Vinci Code" Not So Great?

I ran accross this article http://movies.msn.com/movies/cannes06/davincicode_critics and figured it would be this huge promotion for the coming of, "The Da Vinci Code" movie...however, it was a completely bashing the movie, which was just recently released to the press. The reviewers called it a "stodgy, grim thing..." One of the reviewers recounted what it was like during the movie, "Sitting through all the verbose explanations and speculations about symbols, codes, secret cults, religious history and covert messages in art, it is impossible to believe that, had the novel never existed, such a script would ever have been considered by a Hollywood studio!". That certainly isn't the reaction Ron Howard was expecting! I am doubtfull however, about the lack of success this movie will still have. The fans of the book will remain faithfull and buy their tickets to see the movie regardless.
The end of the article kind of goes down hill when it starts talking about the news conference....but nonetheless it was not a good plug for the movie. :~)

I'll stop there and let you read the article for yourself.

....

Finals suck!! Only a week and a half to go!! Then more posting! :~)

"He had read of 'Space': at the back of his thinking for years had lurked the dismal fancy of the black, cold vacuity, the utter deadness, which was supposed to separate the worlds. He had not known how much it affected him till now-now that the very name 'Space' seemed a blasphemous libel for this empyrean ocean of radiance in which they swam. He could not call it 'dead'; he felt life pouring into him from it every moment. How indeed should it be otherwise, since out of this ocean the worlds and all their life had come? He had thought it barren: he saw now that it was the womb of worlds, whose blazing and innumerable offspring looked down nightly even upon the earth with so many eyes-and here, with how many more! No: Space was the wrong name. Older thinkers had been wiser when they named it simply the heavens-the heavens which declared the glory- the 'happy climes that ly; where day never shuts his eye; up in the broad fields of the sky'".

C.S. Lewis ~ "Out of the Silent Planet"

I'm a mad man!!!

"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits!" ~G.K. Chesterton "Orthodoxy"

You know, sometimes I'll read a book and feel like the author specifically wrote that book for me! It is a very odd feeling at first, and yet it turns out to be a feeling of relief in the end. It is this mental freedom of reading something that you yourself could not put into words. A confirmation of what you had previously pondered yet apprehensive to tell others, afraid that you may look like a fool.
Logic and rationality are so deceptively alluring. And wonderfully so...but too much logic and one will go insane! Salvation through the perfect mans death, a death btw considered to be one of the most heinous forms of punishment, is anything but logical. Not only was this man perfect but He was God incarnate! Attempting to put that story inside my head as a certain sequence or mathematical equation only boxes up that which has confounded the most brilliant men in history. (Disclaimer: when I say that it boxes up salvation I mean it strictly confined to myself. I do not degrade salvation; merely I have blinded myself to it due to pride.) Frantically I insist on making a list of as many quick answer arguments so that (whether intentionally or not) I do not have to dwell on or think about my beliefs. Thereby making it much easier to contain inside this carnal mind.

No I do not think that reason is what makes Christianity real....or even why I have chosen it. I have been on this high of fairy tales lately. So much so that Christianity has never seemed more real. Nursery rhymes and stories have not appealed to me more than they do now. They talk of the normal mundane things of life (or so they are viewed) with wonder and mystery. It looks at stars not as a big ball of gas but as if the sky is bewitched somehow. They look at mountains (in the words of George Macdonald) "as portions of the heart of the earth that have escaped from the dungeon down below, and rushed up and out. For the heart of the earth is a great wallowing mass, not of blood, as in the hearts of men and animals, but of gloshing hot, melted metals and stones. And as our hearts keep us alive, so that great lump of heat keeps the earth alive: it is a huge power of buried sunlight-that is what it is." (He goes on and on...far too much for me to put here.) C.S. Lewis or J.R.R Tolkien said (I do not remember who), that the story of Christ is "the myth that became fact." And rightly so! For what god, even in Greek mythology, would in their right mind crucify himself for the sake of humans?

I wonder sometimes if it isn't fairy tales that make Christianity reasonable...if it isn't what gives reason its rhyme? Science has greatly taken away from this aspect of life and has now led us into a world of dissecting which only leads to stagnation. We dissect everything to find out how it works and what it is made of only to become bored and move on to something else. I by no means mean to bash science because it has done a great many things....(such as indoor plumbing!! :~) it seems though that we have veered to far off the track of enchantment that it is now considered childish to turn back.
Creativity is at an all time low....just look at the movies Hollywood is making!! They are either sequels or older movies being redone (ultimately another sequel!). I can't help but wonder if this can be due to the rising religion of relativism...beauty is no longer objective, the word "absolute" is an offense, and subjectivity is the rave! There is no standard by which we hold things. Our standards have turned into personal perspectives which only turn out to be evil and very uncreative!!!

I wish for a land where animals can talk and colors are colorful of their own initiative, not because the government says that your grass must be green and your house this color. A place where the sun shines, not because of some law of nature, but because it is bewitched. I long for Christianity to be real not because the cosmological argument says so, but because the mythical story of a Savior actually took place thereby making it true. If we can conceive a realm outside of ourselves, then why do we ignore it? Is it a sense of fear that we might actually be insignificant and that our over indulgence of self-esteem has turned out to be a lie?

Obviously there is a fine line where both science and fairytales must be kept in balance and over indulgence to either side is unhealthy. But to hyper focus on one and completely snuff the other is completely "illogical"!! I will now end this exhaustive rambling from a slightly prejudiced and ignorant teenager with a quote from G.K. Chesterton (who was not quite so ignorant!!), "It is not earth that judges heaven, but heaven that judges earth; so for me at least it was not earth that criticized elf land, but elf land that criticized the earth. I knew the magic beanstalk before I had tasted beans; I was sure of the Man in the Moon before I was certain of the moon."

Here is my brother and I in wales visiting the college where my Dad did a student exchange progam 25 years ago. It started to rain pretty hard and some of us got pretty thirsty. :~)

Song of the Month

Alright this month's song has to be.........Doyle Dykes, "While my Guitar Gently Weeps". My reasoning is simple.. I just like the song! Along with Doyle Dykes!! :~)

On a vacation

Yes I have returned!!! However, I do not like to think of it as a return home but a return to temporary residence (aka. vacation). England was fabulous and Scotland even more so! Wales was an interesting place....it was a place that reminded me of the grey town in C.S. Lewis's, "The Great Divorce". But I did not let that taint any of the other experiences I had! We saw 3 castles (4 if walking around the out side of Cardiff castle counts), Edinburgh castle, Warwick (pronounced=Warick) castle, and the Tower of London where the crown jewels are held. Each as breath taking as the last!

We landed in Heathrow, London on a Wednesday morning. The flight was approximately 9 hours, and let me tell ya...flying loses its magic after about the 3rd hour! It was weird to literally be flying into the future. We left at about 10:30am our time and landed in London right at dawn! The sunrise from the plane was incredible! A friend and I put it a little poetically by titling the journey "In to the dawn." When I first stepped out of the plane and into the London air I was initially hit with the briskness of the air! It felt wonderfully refreshing and was definitely a step in the right direction for the rest of the trip.

From there we caught three different trains in order to get to Oxford....ah the name of that place brings about a wonderful feeling!!! Oxford was by far the most enchanting....The colleges were gorgeous, especially Christ Church, and the garden of St. Johns College. I got to actually step into the courtyard of Jesus College where Sheldon Vanauken studied during he and Davy's time there! One could literally feel the history in that place! Christ church however, had to be the high light of the Oxford trip. It is a church and college all rolled into one. The garden and the meadow were beautiful while the inside of the buildings are artistically enthralling. We spent a whole day in Oxford meandering around checking out different colleges and shops....One shop that was most excellent and that I will be returning to someday in the future was Ben's Cookies!!! I have never tasted a cookie quite like that before!

Another highlight was eating at The Eagle and Child pub where C.S. Lewis met once a week with J.R.R Tolkien for their Inklings club. It was so cool to think that it was there that Narnia and The Lord of the Rings were actually conceived.
There was so much more that we experienced and saw....far too much for me to put down in blog form. I will say in passing that Scotland was more than I expected whilst Oxford met all of my expectations. Which is better I cannot say, but both were thoroughly enjoyed! I think I will end with a poem that I conjured up while on the trip sort of recapping what we did. Let me forewarn you that I am no poet and am not sure how the whole stanza and pulse thing works but I decided I would give it a shot anyways!

We've experienced sunshine rain and snow
and visited history up front and personal

The rolling hills protrude with color
making ones heart beat for no other

England has been a trip of return
a land full of beauty for its sake alone
a plethora of colors with every turn
However fleeting are the chances to
gaze and behold as I am prone

Expectations mounting
fantasies embellished are surmounting
Arriving at the spot where fairytales were conjured
and manuscripts gone asunder

My head is splitting attempting
to turn it all to logic
Suffering from a headache that has become quite chronic

Stepping onto the campus stepping in to the pub
I realized something unexpected...
All is not above, all is not bellow,
All is not myth and all was not unforetold
My expectations were dashed and my ideas absurd
Yet not for loss (for I am better for it) because reality
has become what it once was, what it now is, and what it will be.

Where my journey will lead next I cannot tell
But inkling I have and that is well.

.......

I'm sorry for the delay of no posting....however, this time I have an excuse that is a little more legit than in the past! I have had one mid-term and one final to study for and it has taken up literally all of my time! Thankfully after today I will be done with all of that and maybe even have a new post up by the end of the week!! So please don't give up on me just yet! :~)

Song of the Month

Once again this is another late post that has been in the makings for awhile! But here it is nonetheless!! This month's song is...... Beethoven's "Pathetique Op. 13 No.8".

Lately I have been listening to classical music and have truly been able to enjoy it!! I think it is definitely one of those catagories in music that falls under the label of an aesthetic beauty. It displays such emotion from the composer and yet at the same time it is objectively relaying a message or feeling. It’s sad to see how we have degraded beauty to pleasure! Doing so only makes true beauty (which hurts more often than not) hard to come by. Maybe someday we will step out of this storm of "in the eye of the beholder" and really begin to see with our eye that which is objectively in front of us (not inside).

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Movie Review

Alright....I know it has been an incredibly long time since I have posted anything!! I have received posts explaining peoples agitation and as of yet I have neglected to relieve them of their frustrations. So in an act of desperation (and guilt) I will attempt to write a quick review of the Johnny Cash movie "Walk the Line."

The movie as a whole was good from a film makers perspective. Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix did an excellent job as actors and the script was well written.

However, the movie hinged around Cash's drug addiction and the countless times he cheated on his wife. It was a plot of tension that did not seem to resolve in the way that was expected. Not much (if any) was mentioned about the life he led afterwards which included his spiritual reformation. It focused on his affair with June Carter (thankfully without any obscenity) and his constant struggle with cocain. Other than the scene where he and June walked up to the little community church, there was no refrence to his spiritual life (I guess that can be expected from Hollywood). His marriage to June Carter was the breath of fresh air at the end of the movie. Yet the release was not as fulfilling as it could have been.

This movie for me was a kind of introduction to Johnny Cash and his music. It was interesting to find out how someone as famous as Johnny Cash actual got started...here he was in a band of three, living the way all normal suburban families lived and by chance he makes a record that eventually sells millions!!! He achieves the American dream, only to let it go to his head! I think the old cliche "power corrupts and absolutely power corrupts absolutely" could be said of fame as well. Thankfully his story has a "happy" ending!

To sum up...I enjoyed the movie and would probably watch it again knowing that there were many things I missed and didn't quite understand. The movie definitely requires a more mature audience (my younger brother didn't quite care for it). It’s a bit slow, but that is necessary for the story to make any sense. If anyone else has seen the movie yet I would love to hear your thoughts on it!!!

"The living force within them is of fire and its seeds have their source in heaven, but their guilt-ridden bodies make them slow and they are dulled by earthly limbs and dying flesh. It is this that gives them their fears and desires, their griefs and joys. Closed in the blind darkness of this prison they do not see out to the winds of air. Even when life leaves them on their last day of light, they are not wholly freed from all the many ills and miseries of the body which must harden in them over the long years and become ingrained in ways we cannot understand." Virgil - The Aeneid

Song of the Month

This months song is.....(suspense mounting!!)
"Deviation" by Bela Fleck and New Grass Revival. Bela is awesome on the banjo as always! However, the guitar solo is what really stood out to me. The speed and clarity is amazing!

Saint or Theologian Part II

Well after my last post I had a feeling that some heavy questions were going to be coming my way...as well as some extra defining!! So I decided that instead of making a huge comment I would write my response in a blog format.

I'll start off with defining (to the best of my ability) the difference between a saint and a theologian.
A theologian is one who contemplates matters of the spiritual realm. Such as the Law and Gospel, Faith, Predestination ect. Theology is a very important aspect of the Christian faith and certainly not something that should be neglected. If Christianity is what I believe, then surely I need to learn what exactly it is. However, what my point was in my last post (which I did not make clear enough) was the fact that theology is often taken aside as if it is something all by its self. When really it is meant to be a part or piece of the puzzle to the Christian life. To set it aside and make it ones sole focus is to no longer be a "whole soul". Merely using ones head and forgetting about the heart and hands not only leads to an unbalance but to a distorted view of Christianity. The same mistake can be made with the heart and hands as well.

A Saint however, is one who encompasses the head, heart and hands. Thus being a whole soul. The title "Saint" is much bigger than the title of "Theologian". Because it means that a person not only has the head knowledge but also is about their Father's business (just as Christ was). Christ did not merely preach theology or sit around talking about the mysteries of God with the disciples but simultaneously He was about His Father's buisness. This is not to say that Jesus did not talk about the mysteries of the spiritual realm -"Eat my flesh, and drink my blood" - but it is to say that He understood the "balance". The balance of equal extremes. Of knowing theology inside and out, of being about His Father's buisness, and the emotion that goes along with all of that. Of not having His eye's on the Law and trying so hard to fulfill it, but on the Father. Because if one has their eye's solely on the law, then naturally they are going to sin. However, if their eyes are on God then naturally they are going to fulfill the Law.

Christ came and died so that our fulfilling the Law was no longer required if we were to get into heaven. It is through our communion with Him that the Law is satisfied. Not because we are consciously trying to appease the Law, but because it is what comes natural through our communion with the Father. Christ became our mediator granting us instant access to God, making communion with Him possible.

All this to say…if we are in communion with God then everything else will fall into place. Becoming hyper focused on theology, or ministry only leads to utter bewilderment (or separate denominations).

Saint or Theologian?

I read an excerpt from A.W. Tozer the other day that really impacted my outlook on the Christian life. Here is the excerpt: "God will not hold us responsible to understand the mysteries of election, predestination and the divine sovereignty. The best and safest way to deal with these truths is to raise our eyes to God and in deepest reverence and say, 'O Lord, Thou knowest.' Those things belong to the deep and mysterious profound of God's omniscience. Prying into them may make theologians, but it will never make saints."

It never had occurred to me that there is a distinction between a saint and a theologian. The more I thought about it the more the realization hit me (harder and harder and harder and......you get the picture). I then began to question what it was that made a saint. Obviously a theologian is one who contemplates those things which deal with the nature of God's sovereignty and of Faith, but what was that distinct feature that separated the saints from the others? Tozer outlined what constituted a saint as someone who was not only sensitive to the Holy Spirit but most importantly fulfilled those desires of the spirit. It is the mark of someone who satisfies those yearnings towards "Godliness". This obviously cannot be done through selfish ambitions/motives, but through a sincere love towards Christ and His work on the cross. It is through this that theology falls into place. When we are in constant communion with God, all of our thoughts and ideas will be centered around Him. If your eyes are constantly on the Father, how can one go wrong? This of course seems like the ideal way of living, unfortunately we do not live in an ideal world. There is the problem of sin and the fact that we aren't "good" enough to make it on our own.

Paul who warned us against getting the Law and the Gospel mixed up, did not meta cognitively come up with such a profound distinction through monologue. Rather through his constant communion with God and his constant pursual to satisfy those yearnings within his spirit. To easily can one get so caught up in his/her own mind that they grey up all that which was once black and white. Paul (as well as the other apostles) sought to be holy just as Christ was holy. Seeking fellowship as a means to help grow and strengthen each other in the Faith, not as some sort of social gathering where everyone catches up on all the gossip (I am as guilty of it just as much as the next person).

People wonder why there is no revival among the Church....how can there be? Either we are so caught up in our theology that fulfilling the desires of the spirit does not matter or we are so busy with "ministry" that we forget what we are doing and why.

In conclusion, it all comes back to our relationship with God the Father. How can we Love creation if we do not Love the creator? How can we understand if we do not commune? And how can we satisfy the yearnings of the spirit if we are not willing to cultivate them? It seems that a Saint would encompass theology; however, much to often are the two separated.

I'm still alive!

This is just to let you all know that I am still in the process of coming up with another blog! And to say that I have not forgotten about blogging! In the meantime however, if you wish to see the epidemy of self-esteem and what it can do to a person I would suggest watching "American Idol"!! Just for laughs! :~)

"In my beginning is my end"

Lately I have been seriously dwelling on the concept of time.... why? I really cannot say. It is this force of reality that as of late made itself known to me (or I to it..). It is this idea that is taken lightly or subconsciously. However, by it we live and breathe!!

Time; it is this constant motion that never fails to stop. Day end and day out it never ceases. But keeps the same pace never slowing and never accelerating. By it we see everything yet cannot see the thing itself. By it we love, and rejoice! By it we grow and learn and by it we are destroyed. Not just physically but mentally and spiritually as well. We become frustrated by it yet cannot imagine a life without it. It is this very thing that we often wish away which leads to our death.

Every moment passing without warning. The present is nothing more than a memory. In the past, present and future are held. Only by our memory do we recall the present which ultimately is the past. For one to be conscious of the present is to be outside time. Thus "to be conscious is not to be in time" -T.S. Elliot. If one were to be outside time he would no longer remember or predict but just simply KNOW.
There is a frustration that I believe all of us have, whether conscious of it or not. It is the frustration of never being able to grasp the present. Never being able to hold on to a moment except by memory. "Words after speech, reach into the silence." -T.S. Elliot (alright so I have little obsession with his writings right now! More specifically "The Four Quartets":~). Speech, music, thought, and reading all take time! And all, after a little while reach into the silence only to echo in your mind.

I hope this made some sense.... thoughts such as these tend circle around inside my head more often than not and need to be organized somewhere (whether or not they come across understandable!). Truly, time is an amazing thing.

On Obedience

Is there a right way or a wrong way to obey? I sometimes wonder what exactly obedience is. It is often looked upon with disdain yet encouraged as a sort of virtue. Here is what I've come up with:
Obedience is a selfless act, yet often I obey only when it is convenient. However, by only obeying when it is convenient seems to completely counteract what obedience means, thereby no longer constituting it as obedience. Often obedience is looked upon as some kind of duty. Turning it into a task rather than a service. Which in one sense that is true, however, I do not believe it was meant to be looked at in that way. As I have wrestled with this thought, it occurred to me that obedience is to be looked at and carried out with joy. Obedience is to be met with true joy, not the kind that one may be able to muster up in his/her own strength, but that same kind of joy which words could not express. The joy that Lewis talks about in his biography.

Yet in our culture we have replaced the word obedience with words such as "chores" and "tasks". We have replaced something positive with something of a negative meaning. Because obedience does not necessarily fulfill my selfish desires it is looked upon with disdain. Sometimes however, it is for our own good yet we may not see it at the time.

Obeying the speed limit on the highways is beneficial for me although I would much rather be going faster! Our perspective of obedience has been so disgruntled it is nearly impossible for us to take part in any kind of service without a selfish motive. Obedience now is a means to gain recognition or respect. It is like saying, "I read my Bible every morning because that means that God is looking down on me with a smile!" Far be it from me to ever think such thoughts again!

How could I think that reading my Bible has ever made God love me that much more? As if I could appease Him through my selfish obedience! I love the words from Caedmon's Call song "Mystery of Mercy"; "All my love was vinegar to a thirsty King." I have nothing for God to take pleasure in. We are not to obey God's commandments because it is some kind of chore or because it'll make God love us more, rather we should naturally want to obey because it is where we find that unexplainable joy. It is to be a natural reaction that we have when we finally realize the magnitude of love our creator has for us.

To answer my question at the beginning: I do believe that there is a right way and a wrong way to obey. However, the latter is not obedience at all while the former should be our natural response to the King who died a criminal’s death that we might find true joy.

Song of the month

Starting this year I've decided to post my song of the month each month (obviously).
This months song is "Stranded In Kodiak" by Mike Marshall and Chris Thile from their duet album "Into the Cauldron".